a TOTAL flop.

a TOTAL flop.

i've nv felt this terrible after a exam...this is probably one of the very rare times i felt like crap...feeling depressed...full of regrets...but yea..no point crying over spilled milk... all i can do now..is pray tt god would be merciful and at least help me thru this...hope the lecturers will be more lenient when marking...i totally cant afford to fail this~ next sem gonna be more stressed ler...4 modules next sem. im so dead.

woke up at 3+ am this morning...feeling super shagged now. when i enter the exam room today and open the question paper. i totally blanked out. i cant remember anything tt i studied at all. dun wish to elaborate further. all i can say is..its a Total Flop. crap.

gonna go slp now. need to wake up early and prep for tmr's paper ler. period.

and i cant wait for exams to end. cant wait til 12pm tmr !~ looking forward to ktv session with my classmates..and im so looking forward to falling into his ever ready warm loving arms.. =) i so need a hug right now! at least i would feel better and the thought of flopping today's paper wont seem so bad afterall..haa`.. okok...*touch*wood*choichoichoi* i dont wish for tt flopping part at all, the hugging would do!!~

Dear Heavenly Father, knowing u're merciful. pls forgive my lazyness and help me this time! and i pray that my classmates will all make it thru this term successfully too! as i wan all of us to grad together with gd grades and a gd Hons Degree! Thanks! and i pray all these in Jesus's precious name. AMEN!

ARGHHHH!! @#$%*

ARGHHHH!! @#$%*

[tuning to: once in a lifetime]

im going NUTS! STRESS STRESSing STRESSed! i totally dunno wats going on! im totally lost! whole day tried to study...but nth seem to enter my head! turn out while trying to study...i keep eating and i eventually dozed off...went to have a shower tinking it'll keep me awake and more refresh..but guess what...after i bath...i dozed off right away! can u imagine how drained and shagged out i am! argh!~ so in the end decided tt my room and house is totally a uncondusive place to study in...so i went out to National Library's Hans to meet Glenn to study..as i totally need his help! ended up...though i did study..but i was more engrossed in eating the cakes and drawing nonsence!~ and i was so tired and stressed til i lost my way and suddenly lost my sense of direction...luckily i spot a place familiar and found a cheaper parking place...haha`...crapp... GOD...pls save me this time!! amen!



anyway..im feeling super shagged now..gonna go zZzz first...will be forcing myself up at 4am to continue muggin ler..and after which...at 10am...it'll be war time again!~ WISH ME LUCK GUYS!~

and Darling!, I miss u truckloads! cant wait for my exams to end!~

STRESSED. Drained...

STRESSED. Drained...

[tuning to: Camera Obscura - lloyd, i'm ready to be heartbroken]

just had my Business Law paper this morning. gosh...me and my study group overstudied! lol..apparently we study so much and totally went out of scope..and turn out the exam only came out only a bit of wat we studied...can die..and now...my mind is totally jammed up with info...too much law cases and what not...and its making it hard for me to absorb my OIS which wil be on Monday! crap~ im now very worried bout my OIS as i totally cant tk in anymore~ and my the Biz Law cases are haunting me!~ scary! =(

anyway...wish me luck man! and oso for my Accounts paper on Tuesday! hoping time flies faster!~ thers so many things i wanna do after exams!~ ktv, cafe del mar, guitar, swimming and catch up with frens!~ i need a brk! i need to destresss!~ SAVE ME!~ im drowning in my pools of notes, books, law cases and many many words~

im so super stressed that i ate so much recently! its pretty scary i must say....if u see me now..u'll agree....well..see what stress can do to a person! ARGH!~

and yes..i've just changed my layout! was trying to destress and therefore..."Wa-La!" haa`...i like this layout wor! its just so sweet, yet simple...and yes..so PINKY! lol`...my all time loyal and faithful readers since my very first blog til now should know tt im a very pinky person in the past..and most of my layout are oso rather pinky..haa`...i just LOVE pink! =D

counting down, 3 days to exams!

counting down, 3 days to exams!

[tuning to: til the end]

til the end...a song tt's been stucked in my mind since the day baby send it to me bout 3 yrs back...and til date im still loving it... and yes...its a song we both love alot! hees`.. =D its a really sweet, nice and meaningful song...and i'll probably upload it soon and share it with those who have nt heard of it k.. =)

anyway...these few days..nth much to blog actually.. after work its back home for me... ytd had Pizza hut for lunch with a group of my colleagues(cynthia, siewling, diana, dawn, james and jean) as one of my colleague(jean) is leaving today...so yea..its a farewell lunch...we ate so much! 7 of us ate 4 pizzas, a bowl of soup each and bout 34 drumlets! haha.. was pretty scary...and apparently..something quite hilarious happened while eating tt made all of us laughed for quite sometime...haa`..


pizzahut~

the thing tt made us laugh..shall leave out the details though.. =p
some of my colleague and me.. =) [see..im getting fat right?..sighh..]

and as for today, had another farewell lunch for jean, qihui and cecilia, with my dept, as my manager is treating..went to 'Teahouse" for dimsum~ yummy... the food was great and yes...we ordered ALOT..its pretty scary actually, the 9 of us(my manager, cynthia, siewling, qihui, cecilia, jean, celine and linda), mind u..all ladies...haha...our whole table is filled with food and in fact we didnt haf enough space to place all of it...haha...turn out we ate til we almost exploded...lol..and yea...me and my darling cynthia's reputation in office have kinda been tarnished as the 2 hungry monsters...lol...u can nv imagine how much we eat! but who cares...'chi shi fu'...lol..but...i've really gotta start my diet regime again....im kinda worried that if my eating habits continue this way...i seriously cant fit into my clothes anymore!! gonna miss my sweetie qihui when she leaves...sighh...will b missing the all laughter and booing we share in office ler~ =( and i bet office will be so much boring n quieter without her with me!!


the entrance

dont be fooled...this is definately less den half of the food we ordered...after this photo i became too engrossed in the food le.. =p

the yummylicious dessert tt me and cynthia ordered! hees`..

below are some photos taken last friday..

me and my sweetie, QiHui! [hungry monster & boo monster!]
me and jean

my 2 fave girls in office! my darling cynthia and sweetie qihui! =D *loves them lots!*


ok..as for now..its back to my mugging!! =( *sulks* and my leaves starts tmr til the last day of my exams! yeah and boo..

6 more days to exams!! (SwensonIcecream, HarryPorter, Mugging, SunFlowers)

6 more days to exams!!

[listening to: til the end..]

been a few days since i last updated..been too bz studying...and im hardly even home~

friday after work, went home..den Stanley came over to pick me up for dinner and to accompany me study...therefore head down to North bridge rd for dinner and den to the Macdonalds to study...den Adrian, Phyllis, Jaspal, and another 2 frens came down to join us...they had dinner and chatted awhile and left soon after...continued to study for some time til both our eyes totally shut off bfore we finally decided tt its the max we can go...and headed home...



as for saturday, went to sch for tutorials...from 1.30pm til 6pm...and at night, Stanley came over to pick me up to watch 'Harry Potter 5' at Marina Sq..show was at 1.25am...therefore i only got home at bout 4+am! super shag~ but the show was definately awesome! 5popcorns! very recommended ya~ =D

and for today, had to wake up early to meet my classmates to study as usual at KAP...Kev came over to pick me up and we went for lunch at Beauty world, bfore he send me over to KAP....was super stressed..everyone ard me seem to be rather prepared for exams alrdy...but im still kinda lost!
=( sighh...stressed and worried ya... after tt, as Sebas and Jerrain were leaving...we, including Mike, went to haf Prata nearby...den Sebas send me n Mike back to Mac to continue studying with the others...den Baby came over to pick me up and as he was having cravings for icecream..we headed down to Changi airport to haf Swenson's icecream and calamari rings~ yummy! =)

and btw...wanna thank my Sweets, Kev, for the Lovely Sunflowers! =) it really was quite a surprised and definately brightened my day! i just cant stop grinning when i look at them ya! they're just so pretty!

sick AGAIN!

sick AGAIN!

[tuning to: darren hayes - unlovable]

sigh...sick again...went to work this morning and during lunch time i had to go home ler..too sick and dun wish to spread germs to my lovely colleagues...lol...therefore after work...went to haf lunch with siewling den went to find cynthia and her cous to chit chat bfore they went back to work while i go to citilink to collect my pants and head straight to see the doct under my blk..and head home to nap after my medications...

exams r nearing...i cant afford to b sick! and thanks to those who bombed with me well wishes..=) and thanks Stanley for offering to come down find me..but im just too sick to meet pple now..dun wish to spread germs and make pple ard me sick too~ but its definately sweet of u and it brightened my day quite a bit..and ur call definately put a huge grin on my sickly face.. hehe.. =D

as for ytd...didnt go to work as i was alrdy feeling kinda sick therefore stayed home to revise on my studies....and at night as i was feeling freaking stressed out...therefore met up with kev for pool session...and after which head down to haf dimsum...and den he send me back ler...

anyway..im gonna go rest n continue my mugging soon...*tata* to all..=)

Darren Hayes - Unlovable

Are my lips unkissable?
Are my eyes unlookable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Am I unlovable?

Cynical, jaded, faithless, disappointed, disillusioned, used
If I could take back all my sweat, my tears, my sex, my joy I would
My time, my love, my effort, passion, dedication
In case of mistaken identity I gave these things to you
If I sound angry, bitter, sad, infatuated, it's the truth
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, just a few
Stages of acceptance that it's really over
It's just so complicated and I'm stupid for believing in you

You make me feel like my father never loved me
You make me feel like the act of love is empty
Am I so unlovable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you don't like?

I had your back, I held you up, I told you you were good enough
It was not reciprocated, you kept affection and yourself apart
You fed your love to me like crumbs to pigeons in the park
Sometimes I think you're satisfied to see me begging like a dog
I wasn't armoured, you were king, I gave my everything
Because sometimes you showed me just a hint of you and then
For just a moment I romanticised the notion
I can take away the torment, I can love you like they never did

You make me feel like my father never loved me (you never loved me)
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty)
Am I so unlovable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you don't like?

You make me feel like my mother, she abandoned me (you abandoned me)
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty)
Am I so unlovable?
Is my heart unbreakable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you despise?

Are my lips unkissable?
Are my eyes unlookable?
Is my sex undoable?
Am I unlovable?
Are my words unlistenable?
Are my hands untouchable?
Am I undesirable?
Am I unlovable?

examss stress...

examss stress...

[tuning to: gallery]

hah..realise im always tuning to this song?....its uber nice la! recommended to all..haa...i've been listening to it non stop since i got hold of this song! haa`...finally change away my 'bei pan' le...lol..to those closer to me should understand and got sick of my bei pan alrdy eh?..lol`...

anyway..wanna thank those who were there to care for me[u know who u guys are.. =)] thru this period of time...and all the advices and all...really appreciate it...hereby wanna apologize for making u guys worry...and apologize to those tt i've hurt[sorry...u should know who are..sighh..].... as of now...i'll try my best to move on....switching my focus elsewhere....and strive to lead a happier life..=) dont wish to let my emotions affect my studies le...exams are coming...i cant afford to let this affect it....my future is at stake! and i dont wish to ruin it with my own hands! therefore.. dun worry! i'll be fine!

as for today...woke up feeling super duper shagg! so shag tt i cant even get out of bed! tts how bad it is....therefore applied for urgent leave..and stayed home to start on my intensive mugging....mug mug mug! im so short of time now! need to GAMBATTE alrdy! wishh me luck guys! =D


looking ahead~!

thanks to my sweetie QiHui for this cute lil smiley cake! hees`.. it did brought a smile to my face.. =D

[thots: missing my baby lots! hees`...]

failure.....

seems i've nv exist in ur heart bfore..im just sucha failure..no matter hw much effort i put in..it'll just go down the drain..

i finally believe the saying that the person u love the most...will nv be the person who love u the most...

its been almost half a yrs....my heart...its still hurting badly...it really does...its bleeding with each passing day....wonder how long more can i hold on... im breaking down...again....

14 more days from now... only...it'll nv be the same again....

im really losing control of my emotions and myself..... tell me..what should i do...

i miss you... i miss us....

memories is all that i have left...

knowing its really dumb of me to say all these here knowing tt it probably wont affect u at all..but pls dont stop me from doing so....as i've no where else to pour out how i feel...

wish i could turn back time...and let time stop where it is back then...

emoshyt..

emoshyt..

[tuning to: gallery]

woke up early this morning...prep and waited for Kev to come send me to KAP to meet my classmates to study...studied til bout 6+ or 7...den Kev, Eddy and Fei Fei came to pick me up to go for dinner....went to Beach Rd to meet Idzwan to makan...ate my fave peanut paste with glutinous rice ball aka 'tang yuan'...and order the very sinful Royal Fondue...its was delicious....but too sweet and impossible to finish..after that went for Shi-Sha session..played poker..chitchatted and chilled bfore we head home....



argh! exams stress! im going nuts! pls someone..save me from this agony!

Shi-shaa`